Community
Anonymous stories, advice, and support from people who get it.
Short but sweet
We were only dating a little over a month and a half. I got broken up with because he says he needs to work on himself, by himself. Apparently being with me gave him so much peace, and the ability to be so vulnerable, that in turn, it made him realize that he has a lot of trauma that he’s not dealt with. That part makes sense. He’s cried to me about some of them a handful of times. Last night, after he made that decision, we held each other for hours, absolutely sobbing. He says he loves me, this is making him heartbroken, but he doesn’t want to drag me through the mud with him while he works on himself, he doesn’t think he can upkeep a relationship while dealing with his internal trauma, and it doesn’t help that he’s moving 8 hours away in 2 weeks. He doesn’t feel good enough for me right now. He said that he would like to revisit this after he’s healed but doesn’t know when that’ll be. Am I being selfish by asking him to reconsider, and that I just want to be there for him, even if that means that he can’t always be there for me in my times of need? I’ve done it by myself for so long now, I just don’t want to lose him.
Nearly 9 years together and he decided to breakup
My ex dumped me after i found him at this girl’s house during thanksgiving. he lied to me and cheated on me. when the door swung open and found him with this girl in her house, he was smiling - as if she won. while my ex grasped me tightly, threw me to the gutter and told me to leave. I texted him after 24 hours and again today. I feel dumb after doing that. he asked for space and time and i learned that he is an extreme avoidant. after my last long text to him, i decided i need to stop so i downloaded this app to help me start my no contact countdown. i still hope that he comes back to me at the end of this.
New Breakup
The breakup is fresh, brand new just out the pack we were just together saturday by wednesday (today) I been trying to delete his face. I don’t know what to do I gave that boy everything and it feels like when it ended he took a piece of me with him I feel so empty all I do is cry when I wakeup I cry when I go to sleep I cry during the middle of the day I cry. I had lost so many people getting wrapped up in giving him all my time I just want to get over this and get myself back. I know healing from this one will take me a lot of time but im tired of feeling like this im exhausted im at my lowest and I just want to be healed already in trying to get back on my feet but I can barley get myself up in the day these past couple days ive only been getting up to use the bathroom. I gained a eating disorder, trust issues and depression from the arms im supposed to feel safest in can somebody just tell me how to stop feeling this way.
No Contact - Does It Work?
I’ve been trying No Contact after listening to a really good YouTuber talk about using No Contact as a self-regulating technique to calm down after a breakup and to also give time s d space for your partner to calm down and realise to see if they really miss you and reach out. Can I ask of any stories on No Contact working? And for how many days or months it’s taken in not contacting an ex and then they come back? I’m not asking about narcissists or narcissistic exes, as they always come back to abuse. I’m asking about normal and genuine partners that have broken up with you, but in an amicable way with no drama split-ups that have led to argument. Many thanks.
Feeling Hurt and Sand
Girl I’ve known for 3 years, dated for 2 months I broke things off with her. It wasn’t healthy for me to stay in it… Twice over the course of our friendship, I had asked her out. She said no. Then about a month before we started dating, I told her I had strong feelings for her, and that I couldn’t continue to be friends unless there was something more between us. I stopped hanging out and talking to her at that point. 3 weeks later, she approached me and said “I know we’ve talked about dating but we’ve never done it. Why don’t we try? If you asked me out again, I might not say no this time…” So I asked her out, she said yes. We went on about 8-10 separate dates in the next three weeks. She then asked if we could go official (I originally left that ball in her court because she finds commitment scary). And that was that. Two months of lots of laughter and fun, some conflict and resolution….but we had a very healthy level of open communication. Lots of affection, cute dates, making out, the usual…but over time I started to realize that I was really the only one initiating. She would enjoy all the dates and affection I’d give, but I really wasn’t receiving much effort or time from her side unless I initiated first. She only ever wanted to have dates at her place, or with her friends…and that was it. Not much effort in trying to be interested in me or my hobbies, or family. Then, there was 1.5 weeks where all affection stopped. She didn’t want me around, didn’t want me touching her, didn’t wish me good morning anymore. I felt horrible. I tried figuring out what had happened, and by the end of that week and a half, I put my foot down. I told her that her behavior needed to change, that my needs were not being met, or I was done. She said things weren’t going to change, that she wasn’t physically attracted to me….she never was, and that was causing her lack of attraction and affection towards me. So we called it quits. That’s the end of the relationship. The next morning, she calls me bright and early (she isn’t a morning person), and asks me for a second chance. She said she made a huge mistake with me, and that she’d like another 6-8 weeks (she was going on vacation after that) to change her behavior and try hard to make it up to me. My gut said no, but I wanted to give her a chance, so I said okay. We lasted another 2-3 weeks after that. It only got worse, not better. Then we had a talk, and we were both done. She wanted to stay friends with me…said she didn’t want to lose my friendship, just didn’t want all the romance. I said no. And we’ve been on no-contact ever since. It’s been 2 weeks now. I feel a mix of emotions. On the one hand, I feel relieved I’m no longer in that mess. On the other, I’m very lonely and I miss the companionship and openness. She’s also in two of my major friend groups. I can’t tolerate seeing her right now. So I’ve been unable to see my friends as well.
Spilt up - e-mail after one perfect weekend
Ні, I'm not going to go on an on, I just need to tell you how I feel and why I am ending our relationship. I can't be the person you want, I'm not available in that way, I will never get married again. I can't go through this discussion, even if you are semi joking, or pretending to joke... It never stops. I won't move to another country ever again, you keep asking, it will never happen, it's not funny, that stupid discussion at the bar really hardened my heart. We are not compatible anymore, I want less, you want more, it breaks my heart, but our futures are completely different. I'm sorry, but it's best that we split ,and it will not changt,
He accused me of cheating
I grabbed the condoms quickly from his hands which let him to think something was up, then he counted and looked at the condoms saying they were not the condoms he bought and they were different condoms. He said I have been sleeping with other men. We broke up after this
Searching answers
Do you believe my ex will regret the way he treated me and disrespected me? Do you believe that he misses me like I miss him although everything that happened? Do you think that my ex is relieved now that he dumped me? Guys really regret t house things with time or they never look back? I’m really heartbroken I would like some answers in order to understand why I was never enough for him to try and commit with me but why he was able to commit and try with others many times? This is embarrassing but I’m lonely in this process
idk how i feel.
We were together for just a year she ended up losing feelings and a bunch of other things. But it feels so hard to believe that she did. I loved her with my whole heart and she didn’t. She was overly flirty with other people, got mad when i’d try to be affectionate in public, never looked at my side of the story, etc. She was just a really toxic person i don’t know i why i miss her so much. After we broke up we started talking again. To summarize it she only did it to use me for my body. Im still young so i know i have a lot to look forward to but this girl fucked me up. She knew my whole family. One moment i’ll be fine then the next i’m crying. My parents are worried about me, my grades are dropping bad and i’m just always sad. Even tho she was toxic i can’t imagine somebody treating me better than she did. After everything how could she move on so fast? How could she do me so dirty. And why do i want her back so bad? I wanna be happy again.
Confused
My fiancé broke up with me 3 days ago… we were together for 8 years, through high school and such. I thought everything was going great, we had a few concerns here and there but everything was ok. He started a new medication and he started to change, he smoked weed every day morning to night (has for about a year now) but he started to not make sense and started saying everyone was manipulating him and then he had a newfound spiritual connection to god. He also admitted to me that he lied to me our entire relationship and that he’s had a porn addiction the entire time, that he watched porn every day for 8 years. He asked for a month of space and when he reached out 2 weeks in to start talking again i thought it was great and we could start to work on things. When I went to meet him and talk the first thing he asked of me was to run away with him. I had claimed that the space was doing good for me because I was learning about the things that I could do better to treat him better and he told me he needed me now and I told him I wanted to keep the space a little longer. Which I feel guilty for. He texted me a bunch of texts telling me how he felt rejected and then a lot of angry texts. He’s cut off all his family and most friends, and then he yelled at my autistic younger brother. He called me and I told him he crossed a line and he told me he wouldn’t change and continue to stand up for himself. He then claimed we were at different stages in our life and broke up with me. Later that night I went and got all my stuff, when I couldn’t find something I asked him to let me know when he found it and we’ll find a way to get it back to me. He told me he threw it away and everything else, and then told me he never wanted to speak to me ever again. He completely changed in the last 3 months and he’s never been like this before, he has never said or done anything like this and so I’m so confused and in so much pain.
Want to share your story?
Post anonymously from the app. Your words might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.
Get Breakup Buddy