Nearly 9 years together and he decided to breakup

My ex dumped me after i found him at this girl’s house during thanksgiving. he lied to me and cheated on me. when the door swung open and found him with this girl in her house, he was smiling - as if she won. while my ex grasped me tightly, threw me to the gutter and told me to leave. I texted him after 24 hours and again today. I feel dumb after doing that. he asked for space and time and i learned that he is an extreme avoidant. after my last long text to him, i decided i need to stop so i downloaded this app to help me start my no contact countdown. i still hope that he comes back to me at the end of this.