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Broke no contact
I contacted him last night after breaking up with him a week ago. I feel like he was my person and I was his, but my personal insecurities were hitting me really hard and I felt like it was not fair on him. Best for both of us to end it soon so I dont hurt him more, and now I can heal my mental health, which was declining rapidly these past few months (which has never happened before so it scared me). I told him that it was best not to see each other for a while, and he understood perfectly like always, because he is a great guy. The only thing thats messing me up is that he told me he felt like we could have fought for each other a little longer. I dont know if thats true, because i feel like i have tried to get better for him and that just made it worse. Now I feel like i have given up on him too soon and i feel so guilty, even though i know I had to make this decision.
Explaining what happened. Leave advice or opinions
i met my boyfriend around 2022 and we began dating shortly after. we were young at the time-but going pretty well, both in highschool together, both immature and prone to toxic behavior. then around the beginning of 2023ish this guy follows me on instagram, i dm him and hide the chats, it's nothing major just asking about music recs and talking about schoolwork. i talk to him to my girl best friend the way i talked about my current boyfriend, i was slightly interested and curious about him. then my boyfriend finds out and a big fight ensues. i block the guy, never speaking or thinking of him again. we continue our relationship, and i deny being interested in the guy time and time again when it's brought up. Then, yesterday, my boyfriend/ex gets the urge to ask about it, it's clearly been bothering him for some time. He asks me if i was interested in him, rambling on and on about "how it doesn't make sense". i finally admit, "i was vaguely interested in him, but it was just curiosity more than anything". He then, after our whole relationship talk about marriage and even having names picked out for our kids, breaks up with me. We had been smooth sailing for years and we had rebuilt our trust together since then, i don't know why it just happened now instead of then. He said we could work it out but then he just turns around and leaves me. I understand completely that my actions have consequences, and i understand completely what i did was wrong and nothing can justify or explain what i did. We were both stupid teenagers who were toxic and worked out of those ways to become healthy adults having a thriving relationship. Everything was perfect since then, we both didn't watch porn, both looked away when nude scenes popped up on screen, both respected eachother, both had undying love for eachother, and even the night before he took me out to dinner because i was having a bad day at work. He's met my entire family and got along with all of them, came on family trips, was comfortable enough with my family to sleepover. He truly was and is a beautiful soul, and i just wish to come back to him. i just feel so lost, he was my other half, my best friend, and now i don't know what to do. I just cannot grasp how it can be perfect since the incident, the trust is regained, we fix toxic behaviors, then it suddenly gets brought up and he just leaves. I understand my actions are wrong, we ve just worked through so much that this seemed like something we could overcome. but i'm not in his position, i can't say for sure it's possible to regain trust after this. I've talked with him since then and he seemed set that this was the worst thing anyone could do. But talking with my family, his family, and his brother, they are adamant that i didn’t do something as bad as he’s putting it out to be. I clearly was wrong messaging another guy that interested me, and i understand that. Once he found out, something in my brain snapped and i felt like i needed to change from my toxic cycle. I would ve never cheated on my him, but he is stuck in the loop that i would have cheated if he never caught me. I've explained that i messed up, i’ve taken accountability, i've explored different perspectives and tried to understand his. Nonetheless he is adamant that this is the end of our relationship and it’s worse than i can picture it. It's tearing me apart, i've shown him since then that i recognized the wrongdoing in my past relationships and the wrongdoing of being interested and texting another guy. I've shown him that i can change, that i can grow, that i'm able and willing to improve myself for the sake of him and myself.
Trying to look forward
That hard part for me has been reminding myself that I can find someone else that I can connect with as I have with her. She was so funny, smart, pretty, and kind. She was the whole package. But what has been helping me is telling myself that love exists everywhere and it’s you that makes someone special to you. It’s nice to know that this past relationship, although it didn’t last, stands as a testament to all of our ability to find the good in people. There will always be people for you to care for. It’s also easy to forget the flaws. When I look more closely at our relationship, I can see now that in hindsight, she was amazing but being in her presence and being the center of her attention took away from the very real flaws that she had.
Narcissist
I was dating this guy for 4.5 years. The signs were there all the time and I chose to ignore it because I’m soooo into this guy. I love everything about him. He loved my children. He never loved me, probably like me..but that’s it. He never got over his ex, I had 3 miscarriages and he never came to the dr with me. He told me he couldn’t take off from his job, but took off many times to hangout with his friends. He always criticized my appearance, I felt he always compared me with his other girlfriends ESPECIALLY his ex. He never took accountability for his behavior, always blamed me. But this year the “relationship “ went down hill. We barely were intimate. Did I mention I asked him about the future of our relationship…he said he’s content living with his mom. That he will NEVER marry or move in with me. But he desperately tried to marry his ex that constantly cheated on him and had an abortion. I guess I was never good enough for him.
Good terms
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday evening. It was sunset and there was life going on outside his car where he shared his perspectives on our relationship. This cause of breakup gives no sense of betrayal, false heartedness — more on grounds of introspection from us both. Feelings change in the coarse of a year. It’s hard to hear the feelings changed. There’s so much I wish I could have done differently.
Tried
Hello everyone I started dating this guy Nov 2022 and found out he was a lier in Jan 2023. December he went jail and got him out. He lost his job, his home and I wanted to be the down girlfriend in my mind. January he had surgery help him was there with him. February his mother passed was there and helped him. March went back to jail got out. Gave him the money to move into his place. Helped him moved everything. Gave him money every week treated him really well. July we moved together due to me helping him so much I fell down. Helped him the whole time got him on his feet again. He did fraud him and his new girlfriend in my name. Throw all me and my kids stuff out. Got in a relationship the next day we broke up April 10 2024. Treated her like a queen lied and told everybody I stole money from him started saying bad things about me . They start living together the next day now she pregnant due Jan 12,2025. I don’t love him anymore I just can’t get over him a person could discard a person that was good to them. What hurts the most how could God bless them and how am I the only one crush and hurt.
I Tried
I Tried ... So Hard To Believe He Would Change & Grow For The Better Of Us . I Tried To Handle The Mood Swings , Being The One Who Takes His Frustrations Out On . I Took All The Accusations Of Cheating To The Chin . I Took All The Disrespect . I Tried To Love Him Thru All His Trama. I Tried To Be There When His Annoying BM Did All Her BS . I Tried To Be The Woman He Needed . I Tried & Tried & Tried Until My Tried Became Tired . I love him still & probably always will . I miss him , but i dont wanna miss him. Im lonely without him but i had to let go . I wish he would have seen me for the Queen i know i am to be ... I tried , but it was never good enough
What did I do
We we so happy for weeks and weeks and then the summer holiday came and I knew that was going brake us at some point cause I'm all ways so busy in summer holidays and I would not be able to see him then for 6 weeks but then yesterday we did this thing we you go Love you 1% Love you 2% And so on and we did that to 100 and we both did it and we were so happy and then today he broke up with me and it feels like I just got shot in the heart
Why did he leave?
We were so happy and then we started drifting off but we still texted but he didn’t text as much as we used too. And one day it was an emergency and I needed to call him and I told him and he said that “Tristan *his bsf* was here can’t talk gtg” I was crying so I stopped texting him to see if he would text me and I couldn’t hold back do the third day I texted him and I said “heyyyy” he replied in “hi” I was like I miss you and he said “ ik but I don’t” I put a “?” He said “like I don’t miss you “ and I said “oh” he said “yea I have 10 b words in my snap and I’m blocking you”. And to this day I still text him even though he blocked me.
why
why couldn't we have just tried long distance. why. we were supposed to and 6 days from seeing him he said he couldn't. why. why couldn't we have tried.
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