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Stop fantasizing
The more i fantasize and romaticize that what we had was special, the more i waste my time. It wasn’t! In reality, you never cared! We did not have anything! You are just ordinary and nothing special!
Unusual break up
My ex ended our relationship after she abruptly hung up on me to answer another call. When I asked who it was she went silent and said her mom and got off the phone. She then called back and said I had no right to ask who was calling her and ended things. I have no idea what this means and I can’t get over the thought she’s not being truthful.. Today she blocked me from everything after asking me not to co tact her again. She says me trying to reconcile is too clingy and she doesn’t want anything with me. Yet more confusion..
day 5 – i made it worse today, but i’m still here.
today hurt. not because something new happened. but because i went back. i listened to his voice again. i read our old chats. i let myself fall back into that world where i believed everything was fine. i don’t even know why i did it. maybe because i hoped it would make me feel closer to something real again. or maybe because i still want answers. but all it did was reopen the wound. i realized today that when i’m outside, busy, around people – he fades a little. but the moment i’m home, alone with my thoughts, he comes back. in memories. in imagined conversations. in dreams about things that never happened. and it’s hard because what we had didn’t end with a bang – it just vanished. one minute there was something between us, and the next… silence. but there was no warning, no shift, no “this doesn’t feel right” moment. just quiet. and now all that’s left are my questions echoing into nothing. and i know deep down: i don’t even want to talk to him to heal. i want to talk to him to feel again. to get some sort of reaction. to matter. but that’s not healing. that’s chasing. and i don’t want to chase someone who runs. so today i hurt. but i’m still here. and tomorrow is a new chance to choose better.
day 40
today was heavy in a quiet way. i didn’t cry, but there was a weight in my chest that didn’t go away. i kept thinking about him — not constantly, but enough to feel it in my stomach. i had moments where i felt strong, like i was making progress. but then there were those other moments… the ones where i questioned everything again. the ones where i wondered if he ever cared at all. the worst part is still the silence. not because he’s not texting — but because of what that silence makes me feel about myself. like i wasn’t enough. like maybe i misunderstood everything. but deep down, i know i didn’t. he saw my light. and if he couldn’t meet me there, that’s on him — not on me. today i tried not to run from the sadness. i let it be there. and maybe that’s the bravest thing i’ve done in a while. i’m healing, even if it’s slow. even if i’m still mad. even if it still hurts. i’m staying with myself. and that’s something he never did. 💔
day 39
today was hard in a quiet kind of way. i stayed home for the first time instead of running from place to place, and for the first time in a while, i really sat with the pain. it was heavy. i felt everything. but i knew i had to. i realized i’ve been distracting myself so much lately – seeing friends, staying busy – just so i wouldn’t have to feel how bad this actually hurts. but that only made it worse. it all built up. and today it hit me. there’s still a part of me that’s angry at him – for not showing up, for not caring, for acting like i didn’t matter. and yet, there’s also a part of me that misses him in ways i can’t even explain. not just the person, but the idea of what i wanted us to be. what confuses me most is that, even after everything, a part of me still wants to feel close to him. i hate that. i hate that he still has that power. but i also know that’s not real love – it’s pain pretending to be love. i slept a lot today. because sleeping is the only time i don’t think about him. and for now, that’s my peace. i know this is gonna take time. and i know this feeling won’t last forever. but today, i gave myself space. and honestly – that’s a big deal.
Relationship After Widowhood
I dated a man for six months almost 2 years after losing my spouse of 16 years. He opened my heart again with a lot of loving words and physical affection that I had lacked. At first I wasn’t that interested, to be honest. He was 12 years younger and I could see there were parts of his personality that I knew right off the bat I disliked. However, I felt I needed this relationship and I stayed. We broke up 4 times. Each time with more hurt than the last. I tried to go no contact. Didn’t stay consistent with that because I was hoping we could be friends but I could see that he would insist in trying to be physically intimate again. It’s hard. I care about him and wish him the best. My heart hurts because he was loving most of the time but he was also sarcastic, angry, passive aggressive and jealous. It was unhealthy for me. I’m detoxing now and it physically hurts. Most likely because it’s a loss - another loss. 💔💔💔💔💔
Mom..
We were together for gosh knows how long and then he suddenly stop texting me and he never ever texted me again and all that time we shave together.. I can’t believe him.
Breaking up with a narcissist
I need help so I’m been with this narcissist for so long for almost 10 years on and off. Today I build the courage to let go and say no more to the mental abuse I experienced later on in the relationship. It started off well I feel like he was the one I couldn’t let go. I feel like I was inside a hole and I felt like I was never gonna find someone like him. But my mental help was in jeopardy my mental health was falling apart. Then I realize that my mental health and myself meant more than him. It hasn’t been easy but deep inside I knew I had to do what I needed to do and that was to let him go.
My husband left me at the hospital
We got engaged , then married. We got pregnant on purpose & unfortunately lost our baby girl to preterm labour loss. I birthed her & he was with me the whole time & was so supportive. Month after got my gallbladder removed also. By a month later we were pregnant again , fast fwd to March 30, I go into preterm labour (loss) again & as I’m birthing my boy. A second boy pops out. We lost twins :( except this time he wasn’t there for me. He wasn’t sweet or supportive. I lost so much blood I almost died. Had to have a D&C right away. 6 bags of blood. & he just wasn’t being supportive emotionally for all I was experiencing. I could feel him off and he only wanted to stay the first night cuz of work so I said, you can leave now if you want. And he did. I haven’t seen him since. He hasn’t asked how I’m doing. Doesn’t talk about our babies urns being made. He didn’t even check up on my two older sons who were at home while I was in the hospital. He just. Vanished and ghosted us all. Next day he asked for a divorce. Now he’s making it like I was a terrible wife and no one would want to be married to me. Like I’m a liar about my entire past and everything that ever happened between us. He only text he’d never call. And then Saturday he came to get his deer meat and leave the house key. Didn’t leave his wedding ring which is something he’d do. Didn’t even take his personal items or his hats which he loves. I just don’t get it. Now we’re no contact and. I don’t know what to feel or what to do. I’m So lost. And heartbroken.
He ghosted after making promises
Cried so hard today. My heart literally broke It’s so many things in life I’m able to face and overcome , but when it comes to him I feel so weak and sad , I loved him and he just broke my heart. I poured out all my love for him in a cup and he just threw it in the trash.
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