Relationship After Widowhood

I dated a man for six months almost 2 years after losing my spouse of 16 years. He opened my heart again with a lot of loving words and physical affection that I had lacked. At first I wasn’t that interested, to be honest. He was 12 years younger and I could see there were parts of his personality that I knew right off the bat I disliked. However, I felt I needed this relationship and I stayed. We broke up 4 times. Each time with more hurt than the last. I tried to go no contact. Didn’t stay consistent with that because I was hoping we could be friends but I could see that he would insist in trying to be physically intimate again. It’s hard. I care about him and wish him the best. My heart hurts because he was loving most of the time but he was also sarcastic, angry, passive aggressive and jealous. It was unhealthy for me. I’m detoxing now and it physically hurts. Most likely because it’s a loss - another loss. 💔💔💔💔💔