day 40

today was heavy in a quiet way. i didn’t cry, but there was a weight in my chest that didn’t go away. i kept thinking about him — not constantly, but enough to feel it in my stomach. i had moments where i felt strong, like i was making progress. but then there were those other moments… the ones where i questioned everything again. the ones where i wondered if he ever cared at all. the worst part is still the silence. not because he’s not texting — but because of what that silence makes me feel about myself. like i wasn’t enough. like maybe i misunderstood everything. but deep down, i know i didn’t. he saw my light. and if he couldn’t meet me there, that’s on him — not on me. today i tried not to run from the sadness. i let it be there. and maybe that’s the bravest thing i’ve done in a while. i’m healing, even if it’s slow. even if i’m still mad. even if it still hurts. i’m staying with myself. and that’s something he never did. 💔