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3.5 years

We broke up after 3.5 years and she wants to go no contact now. How can I handle going through all of this?

Do exes always come back even if they initiated the breakup and you initiated no contact?

So so lost

It’s been 2 1/2 months since he broke up with me. I still can’t accept it. I can’t tell if it’s my ego, or the fact that I really truly feel like I lost my best life and love. Or definitely both. We were together for 2 years. Lived together, merged families, built a life that fulfilled me. But clearly didn’t fulfill him. I can’t understand it. I can’t accept it. I desperately want it back but logically I know I have no choice. 3 days ago we hung out and I lost it. I begged. It was pitiful and embarrassing. But at the same time a relief to get my feelings out. I left with my tail tucked and haven’t contacted him since. I feel like texting him to apologize for my behavior, but the motive for that is probably just to make myself look more redeeming in his eyes. Ugh, I just feel so desperate. I can’t seem to find it in me to move on and let go. I have had a literal pit in my stomach that only goes away when we are in contact. Why is this so hard to accept? Do you advise I stay in no contact? I know the answer… I hate this so much. Hardest thing I’ve ever been through.

Lost after our breakup

I am feeling really lost since my partner and I split a little over 3 months ago. She broke things off with me via text/email and was pretty no-contact with me at the end. Our relationship was so great. We got along so well and I still love her immensely. We had built and were building such a strong bond over the past few years and even her kids were telling me how much they loved me. I was all in with this relationship. I had a family and now they are gone. Long story short, I have struggled with chronic PTSD for most of my life. At the beginning of our last argument, I had an event and when faced with specific types of emotional triggers, I withdraw. I try my best to communicate, but it doesn’t always work. It had happened during the years of our relationship 3 other times. This time, I had an event and it really triggered a level of frustration my partner felt for me that I had not felt previously. She limited our conversations to text only, refused to see me and said some very hurtful things over the last few weeks of our relationship. I am certainly not absolved of any wrongdoing. I said some of the wrong things at the end and was not as responsive to a few situations or even as empathetic as I had been. It was weeks after the breakup until my psychologist helped me navigate through to understand that I was looking at the situation through the lens of my fear response. It’s not an excuse, but it helps to better understand what I was feeling and why. She has had some traumatic experiences relationally and I have to wonder if some of what happened between us opened an old wound for her? I’m not sure. At this point for myself, I am really struggling with low self worth and a really negative image. I entered treatment with a psychologist to better manage my triggers and deal with my PTSD, but I’m finding it painful and even a dishonor to the memory of my relationship with her to even think about moving on. It’s stalling the grieving process and it’s largely due to the lack of closure. Any advice is welcome. I appreciate the opportunity to share. Thank you.