Am I Over My Ex? 5 Questions to Answer Before Dating Again

Finding yourself asking, “Am I over my ex?” after a breakup is a normal part of the healing process. Start by answering these questions.

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Am I over my ex? Woman looking at the ocean in freedom with peace signs.

Am I Over My Ex – Nine Koepfer Unsplash

There comes a time after every breakup when you’ll look in the mirror and ask yourself the question, “Am I over my ex?” This period of questioning is a natural part of the healing process, and everyone goes through it when a relationship ends. Your ex was an important part of your life while you were together, so it’s perfectly normal to need some time to adjust after you break up.

There also comes a time when you’ll be ready to start dating again. Although this might be the last thing on your mind right after a breakup, you’ll eventually wonder if it’s time to find a new partner. Before diving in, it’s important to check in with yourself and decide if you are truly ready to move on from your ex.

Doing this takes some serious self-reflection and consideration. You’ll come face-to-face with some strong emotions and decide what you want your future to look like. In the end, the healing and happiness you’ll gain is worth it. But how do you know if you’re over your ex before starting to date again?

Why Being Over Your Ex Matters

When you’re ready to start dating again after a breakup, it’s important that you and your partner approach the relationship with a clean slate. If you go into a new relationship while you can’t stop thinking about your ex, it isn’t fair to either of you.

Of course, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t ever think of your ex after a breakup. Again, they were a big part of your life, and healing is different for everyone. It might take you a few weeks, a few months, or longer to get over an ex. Your healing timeline is very personal, and even longer periods of time are perfectly okay.

However, getting over your ex is an important step in the healing journey after any breakup, regardless of whether you’re ready to start dating again.

Research shows that people who report greater longing for their exes are more likely to be afraid of being single. This highlights the importance of moving on. When you’re able to let go of your ex in a healthy way, you’ll be better prepared to enjoy being single. You might even find that you’re happy being single for a while!

How to Know if You’re Over Your Ex

Whether you’re ready to start dating or not, it can be helpful to look inward and decide if you’re really over your ex. Some days, you’ll feel like the answer is an easy yes. Others, you’ll miss them and feel deeply sad. Eventually, though, there will come a point when you’re truly over them.

But what does this look like? If you’re wondering, “Am I over my ex?” try asking yourself if these statements are true.

1. You Can Look at Their Picture Without Getting Sad

It’s true that a picture says a thousand words. Looking at a picture of your ex can stir up lots of feelings—some positive and others negative. This is normal. When you’re able to look at photos of your ex without getting sad, it’s a good sign that you’re over them. Note that this doesn’t mean you have to feel nothing. You can still reminisce about shared memories and your time with them without being sad that it’s over.

2. You Don’t Care If They Start a New Relationship

Seeing your ex in a relationship with someone else can be devastating after a breakup. Much like you plan to start dating again eventually, they will too. When you can accept that your ex is seeing someone else without being upset, it’s a good sign that you’re over them.

3. You’re No Longer Waiting for Them to Reach Out

After a breakup, you might be waiting by the phone for your ex to reach out and try to win you back. Sometimes, getting back together with your ex can be the right answer. If you’re trying to move on, though, waiting for that connection can stand in the way of your healing. Finding that you no longer expect (or want) your ex to reach out is a good sign that you’re probably over them.

4. You’ve Let Go of Their Things

Physical reminders of your ex are powerful. When you’re still stuck on them, the thought of getting rid of that hoodie they gave you or the things they left behind at your place can be devastating. In fact, holding onto those mementos is a sign you’re not really over your ex. Once you find yourself letting go of their things, you’re moving on from them.

5. You’re No Longer Afraid of Being Single

At the end of a relationship, the prospect of being single can be incredibly scary. Likewise, you might fear the lost future you had planned with your ex. As you heal over time and start moving on from your ex, you’ll learn that being single isn’t a bad thing but is actually an opportunity to grow and learn to love yourself. The timeline of this looks different for everyone, but feeling comfortable being single is a good sign that you’re over your ex.

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