There’s no denying the impact on your self-esteem after a breakup. Splitting up with a partner can often feel like losing a piece of your identity. Many times, emptiness or negativity rush in to fill the void, leaving you feeling unworthy or unloved. Of course, neither of these feelings are true to reality. We all deserve to feel valued and appreciated.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t change the fact that you may be struggling with low self-esteem after a breakup—whether you initiated it or were shocked by your partner’s decision. Learning to navigate the challenges that come with low self-esteem is a difficult but essential part of the healing process.
Why Do I Have Low Self-Esteem After a Breakup?
Breaking up with your ex can feel like your whole life is falling apart. You may find yourself questioning who you are and where you belong.
Being in a relationship requires a significant investment of time, energy, and emotion. When things are going well, you feel satisfied and fulfilled. Likewise, your partner is a source of regular encouragement and affirmation. They showered praise on your accomplishments and told you they liked your hair on even the worst of hair days. Without them, you’re left to fill this gap on your own. So, after a breakup, it’s easy to see why your self-esteem might suffer.
Research shows that following a breakup, your self-concept clarity decreases. In other words, you aren’t quite sure how to feel about yourself. You may find yourself questioning if your accomplishments mean anything or whether your hair actually looks like a rat’s nest. If you don’t address these negative thoughts, they can quickly spiral out of control and leave you feeling down.
Remember, anyone can experience low self-esteem when the emotions flood in after a breakup. This isn’t your fault and is a natural reaction to the end of a relationship. However, research shows that people who have low self-esteem prior to a breakup or who are more vulnerable to rejection are at greater risk for poor well-being after the split.
The Problem with Post-Breakup Self-Esteem Loss
Losing some of your self-esteem is one of the hardest things to deal with after a breakup. Why? Because you feel like you’ve lost not only someone you care about but also part of yourself.
As hard as it may be, repairing your self-image is key to moving forward and healing. When left un-managed, poor self-esteem has a negative impact on your overall wellness. Studies show that not addressing negative self-esteem adds to the distress you feel after a breakup and can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and stress.
Repairing Your Self-Esteem is Key to Breakup Healing
If you’re feeling low self-esteem after a breakup, know that this is completely normal and common. Taking steps to increase your perceived worth is an important step and can help you feel better when a relationship ends.
Of course, this looks different for everyone. Pursuing activities you enjoy and that make you feel empowered are great ideas. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
1. Try Some Affirmations
Repeating positive affirmations after a breakup might sound silly. However, this can be an effective way to retrain your brain to start thinking more positively. Affirmations have been shown to boost your self-esteem after a breakup and help you transform negative thought patterns into healthier ones.
2. Start a Journaling Habit
Keeping the negative thoughts you feel when your self-esteem is low trapped in your head can be scary and overwhelming. Journaling is a powerful tool for processing your thoughts by getting them out on paper. In doing so, you might just get an honest look at why you’re feeling so down. Keeping a consistent journal is also a great way to track your healing progress over time.
(Pssst. The Breakup Buddy app has a dedicated journaling section, dozens of breakup-specific prompts, emotion & activity loggers, and advanced healing analytics to track your progress!)
3. Practice ‘Dating’ Yourself
You wouldn’t dream of telling a friend or partner the negative, hateful things you tell yourself when your self-esteem is low. So what if you become your new partner? That’s right, rebuilding your confidence might mean it’s time to date again, only this time, your partner is yourself!
“Dating” yourself is a great way to learn more about your wants, needs, and fears. It also gives you a new way to see yourself, which can be a big boost to your self-esteem.
4. Stay Social
Though a romantic partner is a constant source of affirmation, they aren’t the only person in your life who cares about you. Staying social with friends and family is an important step toward healing your low self-esteem. Surrounding yourself with the people you love (and who love you) can help you realize all the good things others see in you so you can start seeing them for yourself.
Need a Self-Esteem Boost?
If you need help boosting your low self-esteem after a breakup, the Breakup Buddy app is the perfect companion. Featuring exercises designed to make your thoughts more positive, Breakup Buddy is a specialized tool for helping you learn to love yourself again after ending a relationship. You’ll heal faster with 24/7 access to our tools and a dedicated safe space where you can express your feelings and learn to communicate with yourself.
Need Extra Support? Try Breakup Buddy’s Healing Exercises With a Free Trial
