After breaking up with a partner, you’re probably feeling a lot of emotions. This is perfectly normal. Processing your feelings and learning to move forward is crucial to healing. Of course, doing so is easier said than done, especially when your mind feels like a storm cloud with hundreds of swirling thoughts. A breakup journal is a valuable tool that helps you break down your emotions so you can better understand them and start feeling happier.
Getting your thoughts down on paper (or on the virtual page) can give you some much-needed perspective on your breakup. Better yet, a breakup journal is available anytime, allowing you to process your emotions whenever you need to.
What is a Breakup Journal?
A breakup journal is simply a place for you to write out your thoughts and feelings after a breakup. There isn’t anything mystical or extraordinary about it. The magic comes from you giving yourself time and space to explore your emotions and work through them.
Considering this, a breakup journal can take many forms. Perhaps you want to go out and buy a brand-new leather-bound journal to fill. Maybe you prefer making entries on your phone. Either is okay! At the end of the day, your breakup journal should be a reflection of you—no matter the format.
Is a Breakup Journal a Good Healing Tool?
So, how exactly does journaling about your thoughts and feelings help you heal from a breakup? It turns out writing is a powerful tool for “decluttering” the whirlwind of emotions you might be experiencing.
One study found that regularly reflecting on your recovery after a breakup can make you feel less lonely and help rebuild your self-esteem. Both steps are critical to healing after a difficult breakup, and journaling gives you a simple way to address them. Routine journaling enables you to identify the “silver lining” of your breakup and see the positives in an otherwise negative situation.
Another study suggests that a breakup journal can even improve your physical health. Researchers found that people who journaled regularly after a separation had a significantly lower average heart rate and higher heart rate variability (a good thing) than those who didn’t. These findings suggest that journaling after a breakup might reduce your stress and help you feel calmer.
A breakup journal helps you process your emotions by teaching you how to let go. Releasing your feelings onto the page makes it easier to confront them than when they’re all in your head. Likewise, journaling word-by-word, thought by thought helps you break down complex emotions and slows your mind down so you can process them more effectively.
Don’t Dwell on the Bad Things
Although the benefits of keeping a breakup journal are clear, it isn’t all roses. Dwelling on your sadness or disappointment after a breakup can actually leave you feeling worse. With this in mind, it’s important to journal correctly to promote healing.
Research shows that certain patterns of “expressive writing” (aka journaling) can sometimes slow your emotional recovery after a breakup. The study found that participants who spent the most time searching for meaning in their writing made the least progress. In this case, dwelling on the existential questions and poor outcome of the relationship can drag you down.
So, does this mean you shouldn’t use a breakup journal? Not at all!
Instead, this research offers a glimpse at what NOT to do in your journaling. It’s okay to journal about feeling sad or guilty. However, be sure to also write about the good things, such as the lessons you’ve learned or how you’re stronger because of this experience. You can also explore ways to be happier in the future and paint a picture of what your ideal next relationship should look like.
Using breakup journal prompts can help you avoid dwelling on the bad things by giving you a focused topic to explore. This allows you to think about specific aspects of your relationship and your breakup in order to process the related emotions.
Breakup Journal Prompts to Get You Started
If you’re unsure where to start, the breakup journal prompts below can help. Sit down with your journal, take a deep breath, and choose a prompt that resonates with your current feelings. Then, simply let the words flow.
These prompts are samples from the Breakup Buddy app, a specialized tool for faster healing after a breakup:
- What did I dislike about my relationship? How did the relationship limit my life? What will be better about life without the relationship?
- What are some of my fears or insecurities when it comes to relationships? How can I address them before getting into a new one?
- What are some things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the time or opportunity to explore? How can I make them a priority in my life now?
- What are some things I appreciate about myself? How can I cultivate more self-love and self-acceptance during this time?
- Were you hard on yourself today? If so, what happened?
If you like these, check out the Breakup Buddy app for hundreds more guided breakup journal prompts and personal exercises to help along your healing journey. The app gives you 24/7 access to all the tools you need to explore your feelings, track your progress, and recover from your breakup faster.
Start using a breakup journal to heal your broken heart today with a free trial of Breakup Buddy’s journaling features!
Want a place to journal? Try Breakup Buddy’s advanced journal and healing tools!
