I was abusive and a terrible partner

I was a terrible partner towards the man I really loved. Over time I became very jealous and also I frightened in fights with breaking up. I also was very hurtful when fighting and said things I never ment or wanted to say. At some point he couldn’t stand it anymore and left. He ignores any contact since the break up 3 weeks ago. I apologised a lot for my behaviour but he wouldn’t reply at all. What I finally learned is that I have to change! I have been in relationships and was often hiding behind the behaviour of my partner because it’s easier than facing the own duck ups. By lesson now is to work on myself to get better and a better partner. Unfortunately to learn that I lost my greatest love.