364 days

it’s been 364 days and i still miss him,i never say it to anyone because it feels so stupid why can’t i forget abt a stupid boy we literally dated in middle school for a year and then we were on and off. i’m pretty sure we met when i was 12 I’m abt to be 15 in June and i can’t forget about him. the first time we broke up i was actually heart broken sounds stupid to say as someone so young but it hurt bad, and after that i’m different i just don’t care as much about things he was my first boyfriend ever and i haven’t dated anyone since i just don’t care anymore and i don’t find i trust in even having a stupid high school crush. The hard part for me rn is that we always go no contact wtv but he always breaks it i know he does so i got used to it but this time he isn’t breaking it last time we talked was in December and i remember i was the one who coasted him again cus i remember all the bad parts of our relationship. It hurts cus there’s no way in hell imma reach out and i know I’m young and have so much going for me but idk i just want him to get me again but also i feel bad because i’ve changed i genuinely don’t care about abt most stuff i used to be crazy abt he thought it was a act at first of me being yk showing him how he hurt me but nope that’s just how i am no w. Now that im a little older i see that i was a bad girlfriend to we were both bad but can u blame us we were kids. So idk its not like i cry at night for him and yea i guess I’m happy but idk in the back of my mind i secretly pray that he’ll text me again because besides everything unfortunately he’s my comfort person and not having that is yk not the best. but i still wish him the best and i have so much love for him mabye when we’re older i can start loving him again.