Am I a loser

No matter what I’m doing she seems to be able to creep right into my thoughts and it’s been a whole year and I’m still thinking about her. I feel at a loss because the last time we spoke she told me she didn’t love me in a romantic way but more in a friendship way and I was BALLING MY EYES OUT in her car in my driveway like a pussy. I can’t move on what do I do now. Also sorry if ts doesn’t make sense I’m just typing my thoughts exactly as they are coming into my head.