I love him so much

I love him so much we are semi friends now I love him but so many red flags it’s so hard to know what to do I think if we break up for good I need to go full no contact but it’s so hard because he’s all alone in another country without family and I worry about him but it’s making me anxious to keep in contact I don’t want to mess with his feelings. I don’t think we are ever getting back together or that he will give me that chance again. It sucks we were sooo soo in love only a week or two ago but he gave me an ultimatum to move to Japan to be with him and I said I couldn’t go as soon as he wanted and he was sooo so cruel to me when he got angry and crossed lines idk if it could turn abusive it’s so hard to let him go if it’s what’s best he was my best friend my love my soul mate we had a future together and now it’s In Jeopardy