6 years gone

I just got out a 6 year relationship 6 months ago and I’ve been in no contact for at least 4 months it hurts to know that she’s not apart of my life right now and I miss her and still love her I know I must move on and upgrade my life I just wish I could of provided better for her and maybe our future would of been secure she was my best friend and I love her. It gets easier sometimes but other times I keep replaying the break up in my mind and my body gets shocked all over again. It hurts to think maybe she wasn’t the one, I’ve had many regrets and I just wish for the strength to let this situation go I tried to talk to her again but she doesn’t want to talk and she is already talking to someone only after a month of being broken up with that’s not to demonize her but it hurt and I was no angel either I cheated she never found out but it haunts me as that’s time I should I spent with her