First love first break up at 20.

He broke up with me a month ago. Said he lift feelings after a year and four months. Logically I get it, people are allowed to want what they want and he did want me. But from an emotional standpoint point, I’m broken. My first bf at 19 had a year of good memories. But I blame myself. He broke up with me the first time In January 2025 saying he didn’t love me anymore, and he wants to love me forever he just didn’t know if he could. We got back together the same day. Why didn’t I take that for face value? Now six months later..here we are. I knew this was coming, he ignored seven of my FaceTimes, dodged me through text pushing off what he and I knew what was gonna happen. And the day before removed me off Xbox. Some words he said drying the breakup haunts me. Right now I’m just trying to survive, but I cry so much more now. I miss him, and I jsut know he’s probably sleeping like a baby. There so much more I can say but I have work tomorrow, I’ve been crying all day and I’m just mentally and emotionally exhausted.