In a unfamiliar space

So at the beginning of October my ex broke up with me but it wasn’t because anyone did anything wrong. It was from a place of self awareness. He had some things he had to figure about himself which ultimately mean he couldn’t give his all in the relationship. During the breakup I figured there was things I need to work on myself. It’s been hard because it all seemed sudden to me. It’s been weird cause we have seen each other twice since the breakup but it started to hurt. Seeing him made me feel like nothing ever happened but when he left I felt the loneliness and started to yearn for what we had. My routine was wrapped up so much into him that when he left I felt the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life. We decided to take a break for some time. It’s been hard because I just want him to know I still love him and care for him but I know I have to focus on my healing.