Night time eats me alive.

Hey, I’m still really down about my break up and I cannot believe it’s been 90 days since then.. Why can’t I move on? Why do I still so badly want to speak to him? Also, I failed my driving test which just added on more disappointment in myself. I wish I was better in anyway but idk if I am. I mean I had my first shift yesterday and I started intensive therapy like 4 days ago, it’s good, but I just feel so annoying only talking about him who engulfs my brain or my depression or OCD that makes it so hard to have “normal” thoughts and finally, I feel bad for wanting to be with some who when I speak of he gets deemed as the “toxic ex-boyfriend” it just hurt even more and I don’t know what to do anymore