First day

Broke up today. We were together for three years coming right out of High School and I loved her so much. Long distance, but we talked everyday, played games together, and watched shows/movies on FaceTime. She came to visit this last weekend and it didn’t feel right. It was a little awkward at times and we weren’t talking as much as we usually would. We still enjoyed each other’s company and had fun but today was so different. Little talking, and constantly staring off thinking and a familiar giant pit hung in my stomach. I could tell she felt what I was feeling too. We grew apart into different people slowly, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Her future path was different from mine and she didn’t want to waste my time if she couldn’t fully commit to us. She was going to optometry school and I was still finishing an engineering degree. We would only get farther away. I said “this seems like something we cannot fix” and we agreed to cut it off (hardest thing i have ever had to say). We talked for an hour, cried,held each other, made jokes and talked about what life would be like without each other. Eventually we said “I love you” hugged, and kissed for the last time. She left, texted me when she made it back and that is that. I wish I could be mad at her, but this is supposed to be the best for both of us. I just want to see her texts messages again, and hear her voice again. Scared to go to sleep tonight because I will dream of her and wake up to absolutely nothing. I miss her.