Breakups are never easy, but when you and your partner have a pet together, the emotional and logistical complexities increase significantly. For most of us, pets aren’t just animals—they’re beloved members of the family. Deciding who gets the dog after a breakup can be heart-wrenching.
Whether you adopted your pet together or bonded with it throughout your relationship, deciding who gets to keep them can be just as painful as the breakup.
If you’re trying to determine pet custody after a breakup, you probably have many questions. Let’s explore some advice that can help make the process less painful for everyone involved, including your furry friend.
Pets Aren’t Children (In the Eyes of the Law)
Your dog or cat might be your “fur baby,” but unfortunately, the law doesn’t see pets the same way as children. Courts consider pets property in most places. As a result, property laws are used to determine pet custody after a breakup or divorce. In other words, pets are divided among partners like assets such as furniture, cars, or appliances.
Sadly, this means the court’s priority isn’t your emotional well-being (or your pet’s). A judge won’t ask which owner the pet is more attached to. Instead, they’ll ask, “Who legally owns this pet?”
The answer could come down to whose name is on the adoption papers, who paid for the animal, or who covers the majority of pet-related expenses.
All of this is to say, it’s generally better to work out an arrangement with your ex directly rather than relying on the courts. Doing so is the best way to ensure your pet’s best interests are accounted for. You know your furry friend best, and working with your ex to find an ideal outcome for everyone is usually better than leaving the decision up to a judge.
If you can’t agree, consider having a neutral third party act as a mediator. This approach can help you reach a fair resolution for everyone without involving the legal system and its stricter rules regarding pet custody.
Emotional Impact of Pet Custody After a Breakup
Our pets offer emotional comfort, companionship, and stability. Simultaneously losing your pet and your relationship can be a devastating emotional blow.
The emotional bond you’ve built with your pet is real and valid. Losing that connection can bring on feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief. However, understanding how to navigate and move past these feelings is essential for your long-term well-being.
Coping with Losing a Pet After a Breakup
If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t get to keep your pet after a breakup, it’s important to acknowledge that this will hurt. Feeling this way is normal and is nothing to be ashamed of.
No matter the circumstances, losing a pet is one of the most difficult psychological challenges we can face. When it happens at the same time as a breakup, you can experience a whirlwind of emotions.
Here are a few strategies to help you cope:
- Try to find closure: While you may not have your pet physically, you can still celebrate the joy they brought into your life. Acknowledging that they are gone and focusing on memories of your happy times together can bring closure and help you heal.
- Stay connected to loved ones: Losing a pet during a breakup can be incredibly isolating. Keeping a support system in place, whether friends, family, or even a professional therapist, can help you feel less lonely.
- Give yourself time: Overcoming the loss of a pet is just like healing from other types of loss—it takes time. Be patient with yourself and recognize that it’s okay to experience sadness or any other emotion you’re feeling.
Considering What’s Best for Your Pet
Thinking beyond your attachment is essential when deciding who gets the dog after a breakup. Your pet’s well-being should be a top priority. Ask yourself what’s truly best for them and go from there.
Pets rely on stability, routine, and consistent care, so assessing each partner’s living situation is crucial. One person might have a house with a yard, while the other is moving into a small apartment. If you ask your dog, they’d likely much rather live in a house with a yard than be cramped in an apartment.
Similarly, you should consider time and attention. If one partner’s post-breakup life involves working from home while the other works long shifts and lives alone, the former can provide better care for the pet. These logistics can greatly impact your decision.
Finances also come into play. Owning a pet can be expensive, with ongoing costs for food, grooming, medical care, and, of course, treats. It’s important to consider both of your independent financial situations. Is one partner better positioned to care for the pet, especially if unexpected health issues arise?
Can Joint Pet Custody Work?
Some couples might entertain the idea of joint custody of the pet. While this can allow both partners to maintain a bond with them, it also introduces challenges.
Being shuffled between two homes causes unnecessary stress for your animal, which can lead to health problems and behavioral changes. Additionally, coordinating schedules and splitting costs involves lots of contact with your ex. Staying connected can prolong the pain of your breakup and make it more difficult to move on from your relationship in a healthy way.
Ultimately, your decision should prioritize your pet’s well-being, ensuring they receive the best possible care and are in an environment where they can thrive. This may create difficult choices for the humans involved, but doing what’s best for your pet is crucial.
Conclusion
Deciding who gets to keep the pet after a breakup is one of the most difficult aspects of ending a relationship. While the law may see pets as property, anyone who has ever loved an animal knows they’re far more than that. By prioritizing your pet’s well-being and working through the logistical aspects of custody with your ex, you can ensure that both you and your pet end up in a situation where you’re cared for.
Remember, whether you get to keep your pet or not, taking care of your emotional health is essential. Take time to heal, seek support when you need it, and trust that both you and your pet will find happiness on the other side of this breakup.
If you need extra support, Breakup Buddy offers personalized healing tools to help you understand your emotions and recover from your breakup faster. Download the app today and get started with a free trial!
Need Extra Support? Try Breakup Buddy’s Healing Exercises With a Free Trial
