1 day

I just think you haven’t experienced true love. My first boyfriend was exactly the person you’re describing. I kept saying that he loves me that’s why he’s crazy about me and I kept going back because that’s all I knew and thought love was. I met someone else and totally changed my perspective on love. It’s kind, patient, caring, and passionate. It’s not controlling and abusive and depressing. Don’t hate him either tho. Just forgive and forget. You love him because you are king, but the only way to feel indifferent towards him is to move on and date other people and truly see what a non toxic relationship is.

Honey, don’t love him, you are anxiously attached to an abuser. I know this is harsh to hear, but I was in the same boat. You love a version of him you created in your mind. No true lover is ever aggressive towards their partner, no true lover harms their beloved one, no true lover will stop you from doing what you love, this is all bullshit. He just loved the idea of you loving him endlessly, he loved controlling you, because that feeds his ego as a man. You know this relationship is toxic, so this is step 1, accept that it was toxic, accept that you were stuck in a loop of manipulation and toxicity, name things the right way, this was not love, this was manipulation and control, when you start naming things out loud, you will regain control, slowly but surely. I got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist 4 months ago, i will tell you, it will hurt, you will miss him, but I promise you, it will pass. When I look back at my day 1 vs today, I am so much better. Block him, and grieve him on your own, take your time. Reach out to all your friends again, wear all the beautiful makeup brands and enjoy your new YOU, and regain power and control over things he made you lose. You will be alright❤️ I am so proud of you already❤️