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RazzleRaz9923
17mo ago
Seeking Advice

nonchalant babydaddy

Okay so I’ve been on and off with my bd for almost 3 years, we have a 1 year old together. He has cheated and possibly have other children due to cheating. He’s such a narcissist! Like I’ve literally left so many times because my stupid self always believes him when he says he’s gonna change and he really wants his family. I’ve left so many times resulting to me going to friends, family, shelters etc and now all my resources I had I no longer have cause I keep going back to him. Like I know I don’t wanna be with him. He’s a imbecile! I’m so angry with myself that this is my sons father. I live with him cause again I have no where to go now, which i know a narcissist LOVES but I’m just really sick of his crap. Anyone can give me advice on not letting his behaviors bother me while I live with him n can hopefully get my own soon.

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sandyfix85qmphq17mo ago

You have to get out of his house asap. If you can’t do it now make a plan to eventually, or see a therapist or someone who can help you work through why you’re continuing to go back. Join online support groups. I like Chump Nation & the book leave a cheater gain a life. Dr. Ramanis book it’s not you has really good advice for if you have to stay with a narcissist. Her YouTube channel has great tips too. Learning to be non reactive and grey rocking are probably the most basic tips for narcs you have to talk to. No contact and distance are always preferred though especially if you are in physical danger.

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sandyfix85qmphq17mo ago

A support group for codependency might be helpful for you too (Cosa, codependents anon, or any of the 12 steps). It’s very common to struggle to leave these relationships. You are trauma bonded to him. That’s why you can’t do it on your own—- it’s like an addiction for your brain chemistry. The abuse cycle is addictive for survivors. You can break free. Have compassion for yourself, and recognize there are deeply routed patterns that are why you keep going back. Therapy, education and support groups can help though!

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