Married for 20 years to a toxic man

I been married for 20 Years to a man who said he loved me. For 20 Years I been with him through his alcohol and abusive behaviors and dealt with so much . In one of my efforts to get him to get help . He thinks is a better and on a high horse saying that I am the problem. He is healing and he is better off without me . What hurts is that he destroyed every sense of self I had and now that he “feels better” he won’t help me or support me the way I did him. He wants a divorce and I was not ready for that. Living alone now . He moved out our home .