Trying not to take a cheater back
My long distance girlfriend confessed to cheating on me 5 months ago with our mutual best friend’s ex. She only confessed because she attempted to cheat a second time, with the mutual best friend, and that friend stopped her and demanded she tell me about both instances. This was about a month ago now, and I broke up with her. Outside of this, our relationship was going so well which was why it was so blindsiding. While the distance was a challenge, we were seemingly a perfect match. But god, I miss her. And she knows exactly where she went wrong, exactly what she needs to fix, and has already started putting in the work to fix it. She’s working on being more honest, open, and fixing her self control issues and more that I won’t go into bc it’s personal. So we really miss each other and I want her to change and I want her and the future I saw us having together. The distance doesn’t help, because I promised last time I visited that we wouldn’t have to wait a long time to see each other again. In my head, I should take her back and work things out now so we don’t have to wait that long. But we might not ever see each other again and I don’t know how to process that. I don’t even know if doing long distance would be possible after this. I think it would be but everyone else thinks it’s not. Logically I know that we can’t get back together, at least not now. I would have to know that she’s changed and that can’t happen within a month. I also know I’m really vulnerable right now since it’s fresh. But I want to believe she can work on her issues. I want to believe she’s changed and will continue to change. At the same time… if I don’t leave, she won’t have that consequence and I’m worried she’ll make the same mistake in the future. It’s hard. I know she’s capable of change- we’ve both learned and changed a lot for the better throughout our time together. So I don’t like the idea of giving up on what we could learn from this and how our relationship could grow. I don’t know what to do. I also know logically we should go no contact for a bit, but neither of us wants that. Part of me thinks one last call before we do it would be nice. I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. Any advice?