I don’t know what to do

Hey everyone me and my ex got together back on April 14,2023 he ended things on February 3 of this year I don’t know how to think for right now. When we were having a very long talk once he dumped me he told me he needs to fix himself not ready to commit wants to be free meet a bunch of people travel but still wants me as a friend. We lived in two places together one was his dads and the second our place together with another couple but they broke up the end of last year. It’s so confusing because he came up with our marriage timeline 3 years promise ring 5 years wedding ring and he dumped me 11 days before our 1 year 10 months which was gonna be on Valentine’s Day. It’s so hard because he still tells me he loves me and we said we would both heal and we wouldn’t get into another relationship until we try again. It’s so confusing because I treated him so good compared to all his other exs and I’m always there for him but he can’t just stay with me and heal together. I’m so scared for whatever can happen I can’t see him get into another relationship which he says he won’t he can’t be in a relationship at all but I’m so scared. Today is kinda started the no contacts and I just wanna talk to him so bad but he says I need to distance because with how hard I’ve been taking it and trying to get him back he says I’m pushing him away and it’s annoying him. I’ve never been alone I’m really scared to be. I wanna to be better independently but I’m scared if I back off too much there will never be a possibility for us again. Does anyone have any advice? I’m so lost and I just want my sweet boy back in my eyes we are soulmates and the only dude I can’t think about and want a future with. I just can’t believe how you can love someone and cry when you leave them but so hard to get them back I told him I would wait while getting myself back but he tells me he won’t be dating for a while which I’m scared for