Huh

This is the first time in a couple days where I thought about him like I briefly thought about him or mentioned him to people on the dating app that I’m on because they’ve asked me about past relationships but right now I’m thinking about him and our memories I wish I didn’t and the way it did, but I know I can’t be a part of that life. That’s not the life. I deserve. That’s not how I deserve to be treated and now there is sometimes you treated me good And I know he cared, but I cannot accept that type of love. I’m not going to accept it anymore the love that comes with constant criticism, condescension the love that comes with excuses and lies. I can’t take it anymore. I wanna get rid of our things, but at the same time I don’t I don’t have the strength to look at old pictures yet because every time I do I just freeze. I was so in love in those photos. What did I do? What did I do?