And so it’s over soon after beginning!

It had been 6 years since I’d dated anyone. And 12 years since I’d fallen in love! We met randomly in the city and he was so confident. I wanted to stay single. He perused me til I gave in! Intimacy was selfish on his side at first. I taught him how to be amazing which he always knew, he just needed to be open with me. He never really trusted me with his heart. I fell for him quickly but not really for him but who I wanted to be in love with. I think he always knew this and resented it! And so he’d abuse me. With name calling, gas lighting and eventually physical abuse. It couldn’t continue. We only lasted 4 months. Yet in the final month he talked about proposing! We were co-dependant from the start. How do I learn to be alone again?

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sandyfix85qmphq16mo ago

If its been 6 years since that breakup and the relationship was 4 months long… I’d say to look into childhood wounds or hurts, because your pain over him probably doesn’t have to do with him… and more to do with early relational trauma with your parents. Heidi preibe makes great videos about attachment wounds on YouTube. There’s also free support groups for CODA or Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional families could be helpful even if your parents weren’t alcoholics. Reconnect with things that make you yourself. People, places, hobbies. Take very good care of yourself.

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HaplessRomanticist7816mo ago

It hasn’t been 6 years since we broke up! It’s only been a week! It had been 6 years since I’d dated anyone when I started dating my current ex! And he was incredibly abusive. He was using ABA brainwashing on me to try fix my autism as it annoys him. I realise now just how awfully toxic it was. I still want to be held but there are plenty of men out there that won’t hurl abuse at me or hit me! Yes you are correct I have childhood trauma. We left my father to stay at a shelter when I was only 3. And I have autism, adhd and ptsd. I’m a huge empath. My current ex is a narcissistic type. Covert! Thanks for your comment. Much love!

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HaplessRomanticist7816mo ago

And yes my father was an alcaholic. He died of cardiac failure at the early age of 65! I miss him dearly. And my current ex had similarities with my father.

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