Please someone help me…

We had a relationship for almost 4 years and she betrayed me multiple times maybe like 3-4 times, i begged for love and loyalty in return i just had lies , manipulation and emotional even verbal abuse… when i try to move on she comes back begging me to take her back but still lying i tried to forgive her every time and still doing me so dirty… that’s not even half of the story… Please tell me how to move on with the fact that maybe she never loved me, but why she hates me that much? Why she feels its okay for me to cry and not eat everyday, she doesn’t have the courage to tell me truth and keep messing me around… How do i accept that she have him in her bed , have sex with her, she is in love with him, she is hugging and kissing him, she do everything dor her how to i accept that? How to nove on from that . i cant imagine her being happy while im so miserable..