Year after breakup and I am far better as a college student

I still think about him at times though. But that dude ghosted me never reached out again after breaking up with me over call and he said hurtful things and not one good thing, I loved him at the time. But I was broken over it for 8 months before it started getting better. But I realize now he is just a boy figuring himself out. Most guys at this age are immature and don’t know how to be a good partner. And I was able to rebuild a sense of worth in the Lord. Praying through it helped a lot. And when I didn’t feel like journaling I would type it on my phone notes instead what I felt like texting so I wouldn’t actually send it. And I look back and am so glad I didn’t send those messages. Other things I realized is that I thought about it voluntarily more than I should have. I mean even in times when I felt numb and like I could forget. I would always look back. But that has faded now and the less I look and see what he’s up to the more at peace I feel with myself. So I kept my self in heartbreak at times by rumination and comparison. So my advise would be to challenge yourself after the break up. Yes it’s going to hurt terribly at times or maybe everyday. And it’s okay to remember things at times. But try not to ruminate it. And here are some things that would’ve helped me in the times of heartbreak. 1. Go to a trusted person to talk about it everytime. 2. Journal whenever an urge comes. 3. Delete all social media for at least the first 5 months. Refuse to look at any of his things. Yes insta, YouTube, all social media. Take this time to focus on your own thoughts and search of your worth and making sense of it all. I used to go to YouTube and all these other places and watch breakup videos. They got me no where but being hopeful. (Even chat gpt). Gave temporary relief but in the long run it took me longer to get my own thoughts about what actually happened and what I think because of me waiting in the hopes or hurt of what video I would get about it. But the truth is everyone’s situation is different. Yes people do have different attachment styles but too often it is used as a label to excuse them and stay stuck. What matters is what YOU do after the breakup and how you choose to think about it. Not what HE is doing or thinking. The person who dumped you has no say in how you think about it and what you do for your own growth and to move on. 4. Remove his number/contact all together from everything and everyone. So there’s no choice to text him. If he actually wanted me he would text me himself. 5. Build your self worth up and do not look back! Especially when you finally feel times of neutrality. Celebrate the times you feel neutral! And you should be proud of the little things. You are going to be far stronger because of the breakup but the hurt comes first even if it’s many months of it. What hobbies do you enjoy or bring peace? What is something you’ve always wanted to try? It doesn’t have to be anything big. It can be as simple as doing the laundry, making a new friend, or getting through the day. 6. If you remember the good times and feel you can’t stop it… you can’t forget the things you didn’t like about the person or how you originally thought about the person before you dated him. Write down all the things you didn’t like about them. And remind yourself when you feel like your just remembering the good things. 7. Stop comparing yourself. You have your own race to run and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s because it is unique to you. And that should be celebrated. 8. Praying helped me a lot. Just telling God how I feel. And praying everytime his name popped in my head. And remembering that God knows what is best for me and he has something better in store for me if it wasn’t this guy. I also found that months later I started building new relationships and being around those people helped me to forget him when I was with them. So just surrounding yourself with positive people who believe in you and love you is helpful. The people you surround yourself with matters so much. One thing you will not regret is taking care of yourself and being gentle with yourself throughout the breakup. Like making sure you still eat and get up. Not neglecting yourself to the couch or bed. And encouraging youself. Anyways, BELIEVE in yourself. You can get through this. You will be stronger from this. I believe you can do it. And know that you are very loved and there is always someone who is impacted by you. Anyone feel free to comment if they have any other thoughts.