Do you catch yourself scrolling through your favorite apps or posting on social media more than usual after a breakup? If so, you aren’t alone. In today’s digital world, our brains are hardwired to crave the dopamine hit that comes with updating your status or watching a friend’s latest story.
After separating from your significant other, you’re likely looking for happiness wherever you can find it. But that doesn’t mean scrolling your day away is healthy. In fact, research suggests going silent on social media after a breakup may be vital to healing and protecting your mental health.
You’re probably thinking, “Easier said than done.” On that note, you aren’t wrong! Taking a social media break is challenging and can feel even harder when you’re already going through a breakup. Ironically, though, a social media break might just be the best medicine for healing your broken heart.
How Social Media Influences Post-Breakup Healing
Breaking up with your ex can range from heartbreak to a clean split. Regardless, you have a lot to process. You are saying goodbye to the future you imagined with them, and establishing a new routine takes a lot of mental and physical energy.
For most people, disconnecting from your ex is a big part of the healing process. In the real world, this might not be too hard. One of you can find a new gym, frequent different cafes, and put an end to texts and calls.
Thanks to social media, though, disconnecting is often a lot harder—through no fault of your own. When you wake up in the morning to a Snapchat memory of a photo with your ex, your day can be ruined before it starts. Likewise, scrolling through a feed of content curated by algorithms that previously knew you loved seeing connections to that person, their interests, and even shared friends can bring up painful memories.
A University of Colorado Boulder study recently examined how social media activity makes it harder to disconnect with your ex after a breakup. Participants reported frequently seeing upsetting Facebook content related to their ex, even after blocking them.
One participant said, “I’m not posting any more pictures of my ex-girlfriend or tagging her in things. Why are the memories of this person still popping up? I feel like it’s careless… like throwing things at you that you don’t want to see anymore.”
Another echoed this, saying, “I clicked Facebook and the top, the very top item of my News Feed is ‘so and so is in a relationship with someone else,’ and I’m like, ‘Why are you putting that at the top of my feed?’”
Sound familiar? Sadly, social media algorithms can’t account for real-life events like breakups as smoothly as you’d hope. So, even if you’re trying to disconnect from your ex, your screen time could turn into a trigger at any moment.
Countless studies have shown that prolonged social media usage can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. When you’re feeling vulnerable after a breakup, social media can make these negative emotions even worse by constantly reminding you of your ex and your lost relationship.
3 Reasons You Should Consider Going Silent on Social Media After a Breakup
Putting down your phone can be a struggle. However, committing to a social media break after a breakup is a big step towards healing and moving on with your life. There are many reasons why avoiding social media when dealing with heartbreak is helpful, but a few stand out from the rest.
1. It’s Easier to Disconnect from Your Ex
As we’ve discussed, disconnecting from your ex in the real world is often well within your control. Unless you work with them or see them in a setting where you’re both obligated to be, you can take steps to avoid your ex and the painful memories seeing them brings up.
On social media, this isn’t the case. You can unfollow them, block them, and delete them from your feed, but the automated algorithms could bring them back when you least expect it. Going silent on social media removes this possibility and puts you in control of disconnecting from your ex so you can focus on healing.
2. You’re Less Likely to Overshare Something You’ll Regret
When you’re upset after a breakup, it’s all too easy to post something behind a screen you’ll regret. Whether it’s an angry comment about your ex’s decision to dump you or an emotional post because you’re sad, you want to avoid oversharing on social media. The same is true if you’ve settled into a new relationship shortly after a breakup.
Your breakup is a private matter. Not putting your breakup on display for the public helps you avoid embarrassment or feeling guilty down the road.
Oversharing might also hurt your former partner. Although that might not sound so bad when you’re grieving a lost relationship, you’ll likely regret the angry words you used later. By avoiding posting on social media after a breakup, you keep yourself safe from oversharing.
3. You’ll Have More Time to Focus on Healing Actions
According to Statista, people worldwide spent an average of 151 minutes per day on social media in 2023. That’s over two and a half hours. Imagine what you could do with that much extra time in your day.
After a breakup, healing requires plenty of time to prioritize yourself and contemplate what comes next. Going silent on social media frees up several hours each day that you can now spend doing activities that are beneficial for your mental health instead of hurting it.
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What to Do Instead of Posting on Social Media After a Breakup
With all the time you’ll save by not being glued to social media after your breakup, you can start to explore healthy activities to help with your recovery.
The path to healing isn’t the same for everyone. You might cherish a night in with a good book and a home-cooked meal. Others might prefer leaving the house to spend time with friends or explore new places. For many people, mindfulness and meditation are a great way to clear your head and start working through heartbreak.
Breakup Buddy is a specialized tool for helping you process the difficult emotions you feel after a breakup. Our innovative app isn’t social media. Instead, it gives you a safe space to express your thoughts and process your feelings to help accelerate your healing.